colours too dull and spammed with imperfection
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
girl, i wantcha.
No, I changed my mind.
DAMNFUCKINGBOREDLATODAY. Sayang online also nothing much that's talked. Sad.
Just now woke up at noon. Then on. Then off. Then went out with family. Damn crap.
BUT I LOVE MY HAIR TODAY. Somehow it doesn't feel rebonded, it's damn wavy ^^ Think it's the new shampoo dad bought.
I don't feel happy, idk why.. Something's bothering my mind. Idk what. This is what a confused girl gets. AND I'VE BEEN WEARING MY JERSEY FOR THE WHOLE DAY -.- wtf.
I don't care, gonna spend $70 on that party tank, and $15 on the Patrick and Cookie Monster shirt. Gonna buy Domo on a later date. DIE.
I badly want to cry. And on a side note, I've always feltlikeslashing :'( I'M TIRED OF LIVING THIS SHITTY LIFE. idc. I can just jump down 18 floors and survive. Piak boom die.
Monday, May 30, 2011
hey, hold on tight.
I just had a bad day.
Today. Everything was fucked up today. My parents. My friends. My siblings. Congrats in making me pissed off.
Everything I wanna do, also cannot. I wanna go library finish up my homework, cannot. I wanna go out buy something to eat, cannot. I wanna take the bus to Singapore on my own so I don't trouble you, cannot. I don't get it. It's not like I'm meeting up with Rusyaidi/Leroy and do some stupid stuffs. I'm doing things that benefit me. I don't understand my parents these days.
Sometimes, I just feel like running away. Just to be with you, silently, not talking. Even if you're speechless, I'm just glad I'm beside you. But now I don't think I have the guts to do what I want and need. One day, I might just shut up and let things happen. Maybe that one day is the day where I don't really give a fuck about things anymore. That one day, is the day where it's the best time to die.
Don't worry too much kay? I'm sure he'll be fine, God loves him too. For now, pray to God for his safety, don't give up hope okay? Hope for the best, sorry can't be with you now, but I promise I'll be there when you need me. Not only me, you still got Shermaine & Dyllis, and probably others too. All of us love you, Clarissa Siah, stay strong :)
Sunday, May 29, 2011
i dont care how much you mean to her, get lost.
Where are you when I need you the most?
In this world with so many fucktards. One who suddenly jump into my problem and act as if I'm insulting her, one who stuck up to her, one who calls another person stupid when she herself can't pass all her subjects, one who smacks my head because of no reason, one who thinks I'm nothing and ditches me at every moment, one who doesn't even care about me and say that I'm a fucking loner. I am. And I don't need you to remind me that I'm one. Fucker. And the list goes on.
You should go. She needs you. You can make her happy right? I'm stuck here, I can't do anything, so go. Fetch her.
To my own fucking sister.
Eh nabei, you one day cannot shut the fuck up arh? Go cry ah, I don't give a shit. Tonight, I make sure you sleep outside the house, in the cold. I don't give a fuck to who the fuck you are. You are just one bloody shit mark in this family. You're not even my sister. DON'T call my biological mum your own mum. She didn't give birth to you. My stepmother did. I hate you, seriously. Every time you piss me off, you're just lucky my aiming sucks. That metal box, was supposed to hit your head and gone you go to the hospital. You're lucky I lost my penknife. Or not you'll be done with slashes. I don't give a fuck, I hope you remember that.
I don't care who you are. No one can cheer me up now. I just want my own mum, the one who gave birth to me. Where is she, when I need her the most? This is the most perfect time to end my life, isn't it? I'm not that important to anyone after all. I could just silently die and no one would realise. No one would cry. No one would be sad. They'd all cheer when I'm gone.
baby hold my hand, and never let go.
I miss those times.
Hi me is sadgalx98. My sister finished my butter cookies. Omfg.
I'm starting to miss some people already D: Leroy's one of them wtf. I know it's over, but.. yeah. I miss going to Ehub with him. He'll cuddle so close. D:
I SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT THIS :'(
Hi. My name is Iffah Khaliesah and I am the saddest girl on the planet right now. I want my buttercookies. I have trouble sleeping these days, and yup yesterday was the freakiest night even though I like the dream that went with it. I saw it :( I fricking saw it :(
I want my lollipop.
I want my cookie.
I want my Vans.
I want my Ray Bans.
I want my Gucci.
Fairygodmother, can you bring me these?
Labels: Still loving you♥
Saturday, May 28, 2011
baby, love the way you lie.
Hey pabo, I love you :)
HAHA. Today's Sunday. And as usual I wake up early on Sundays. WTF. Woke up at 7.45am. But I looooooove my dream last night :') HAHAHA HOPE MY DREAM COMES TRUE^^ But I've no guts to wtf :/ I wanna cry D: AISH.
I wanna go swimming soooooon~ I miss the water^^ Haha kay shall continue updating later~
get out of my way.
Today nothing much. I HATE today. Allow me to scold a bitch. Gonna go minah.
Ehk betina, kau takderh orang laen keperh? Kacau aku punyerhhh, sebokk arh kau. Kau gi mampos sua, aku happy giler bile kau mati mampos dari dunia ni. Kau tak layak datang sini arhh. Kau ingat orang yang jadi kawankawan kau sumerh tu sukerh kau? Gilerh. Agaknyerh kau nyer boyfriend pun tak sayang kau. Kau arh yang maen maenkan perasaan dierh, pastu nak blame dier? Lepas tu, carik orang laen? Playgirl/bitch keperrrrr. GY MAMPOS KAY :) Mukerh kau dah lah macam taik, nak camwhore -.-
Argh -.- I wanna cry man. Felt like slashingg, but didn't againn.. Dad at home, cannot cry yet lol. He will direct me to my aunt then my aunt will be like why are you cryinggggg then you shouldn't cryyyyyyy. ARGH FUCKMYLIFE. This is so nice :( I should get myself a stressball. :'(
I'm only happy when I'm with you.
Friday, May 27, 2011
baby, gimme your best shot.
Don't leave me out.
Schooled, clean classroom, felt tempted, but didn't, went for leadership camp, slack w Sayang, Phoebe and Cherylene, read books lolol.
I forgot what the hell happened today, I think cause of my headache now.. OHYA. Haha. Kay shit I forgot again WTF IS THIS MAN JKDFBKWJFBKJEBFKJRWBF. AHHHH! REMEMBER LERH.
Went to Lot, then go up go down go left go right. Kiddy Palace^^ Then we went separate ways, I kinda pissed off lolol. Walk one round in Smiggle, wanted to buy that green pencil case, but bloody hell I don't wanna use my $30 lol. Then trained to JP^^
Walked around, wanted to buy the Art Box bag, but it's like $29.90 HAHA I don't want that 10 cents change. So yeap walked around again SAW THIS SUPER FRICKING CUTE PENKNIFE, HAHA HELLO KITTY. I STRAIGHT AWAY GO BUY HAHAHAHHAHAHAA. Damn sharp~ Gonna love that penknife til I lose it haha. Reminds me, God knows how many penknife my form teacher confiscated last year. 15+ ? LOL.
Went Joo Koon, meet aunt, go Dinner, then home~
Thursday, May 26, 2011
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FORRRR.
Hey, I love you, hold my hand? ;)
Lolol I keep saying that today. Well yeah, schooled. Sayang took my file and wallet >:( Comm Arts, damn coldddd. Sayang's hand until so scary o.o
Had Leadership Camp (: Was scared at first, then had some games, normal already~ Hope can get Council if not House. HAHA Ning Xuan = E P I C. I was the beauty, she beast, DAMN SCARY LEH ;cries. And yeah the hold-hand-keep-balloon-floating game also.
Ended at 6, went to Commonwealth, Sayang and Cherylene accompany~ Lool damn tired by then >< message and otp w sayangg, lolol I keep falling asleep seh. Got pissed :O
Sayang so good, from CCK>AMK send cousin home~ Tomorrow last day of school = last day to see sayang :/ HAHA 10th June coming upppp! 14/15 days :) This is damn dkwjfbwkjgbk man, not free on 6, 7, 8, 9, 14, 16, 21 and 23. It's either Dikir or Canoeing. 10th if daddy allow I wanna HEHEHEHHEEHHEJWKBFKWJFBLJEBFLEF. Muahahaha.
Barbaiiii. Love you
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Hey you, you're the one I can't live without.
" I still remember you left me, just to get her. Bro, last long with her :) "
Schooled. As usual, f^^ked up :)
She flew to UK, so yeap had free time today. Sayang sat beside me, lolol I slept HAHA. Slotted in result slips. Played the piano while waiting for Mr LWK.
MT Fortnight cancelled, so waited for Sayang to finish hers instead of fetching sister lolol (Y) Damn bored. Learnt like 2 seconds of Haru Haru? -.- One hour babababa.
Sent Sayang to CCK~ Nothing better to do man. Keep laughing in the train from Redhill>Jurong East. Laugh until my wrist pain like shit. I see no link but fyeah lol.
Dad fetch me, ZOOM GO HOME.
Sayang arhhh, you this bastard baby, two failed attempts to drop/take my wallet (Y)(Y)(Y). MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
you so fiiiiine~
Damn moody today, apparently mum knows the reason why. My period coming lolol SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Well I don't think so -.-
HI I FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL TODAY.
Oh ya I only remembered Sayang took my stuffs. Naughty naughtyyyy ;) My TPC is super distinguishable from Sayang's. Mine no stylus HAHAHAHA. Went for lunch, I felt damn shitty man.
Went for MT Fortnight, played games and auditioned for Dikir. Didn't go for training, looks like something went on at home, and cousin forgotten to take his passport from aunty so yeah had to rush before the Tuas gets congested.
Overall, I am super unhappy. I feel the same like Sayang, I don't wanna go home, even though home is like the place I let all my feelings out, AND NOT TO FORGET MY PRECIOUS GAME ROOM ): It's like being renovated now. Soundproof babehhh. I can shout all I want :D
Baby, let's run away, make THE great escape (:
Monday, May 23, 2011
so many ways to love you~
" I hope I can see you soon, every second without you is another drop of acid on my skin "
Learning Haru Haru now~ From 10 seconds, to 40 seconds (: I'm damn happy~
Most of the day today, I was feeling f^^ked up for some reasons.
PBL in the kitchen, Idk why, no mood.
Left for MT Enrichment, jksdbvfkjfb larh, cannot pon -.- So stayed.
Rushed to Macritche after Enrichment. Then took K2 with Annabelle. Damn tired, didn't capsize. The only pair that didn't cap i think~ muahahaha. After that pack up, went to run for 20-25 minutes. Damn tired. But I tahan lol.
Dad fetch, text Sayang, then off go home.
What is this? Gosh.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
baby let me love you down~
" Hey you, it has been months since I got your last text "
In Maths class now, I don't give a fcuk man! What the shit siol. Pissed off.
Chatting with Mandy.
Sayang sat with Khairun Nisa. Cause she so long never sit with her.
FUCKYNOOB APPARENTLY IS PISSING ME OFF ALSO.
I keep giving the eyebrow raise thingy and the one-side smile ;)
Haha it's true man. I feel damn weird today.
PABOBABY KEEP CALLING ME PABO ): -pout-
I don't give a shit, fail maths again. I'm planning to fail maths all the way in life.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Baby you're mine mine mine mine mine.
" Hey you, yeah you, you make my day special :) "
Woke up at 8:56am I AM SUCH AN EARLY RISER ON SUNDAYS WTF.
Sayang's updating too~
I gave up skipping 1000 times, too tired already.
I find my bed extra comfortable today.. MUAHAHAHAHA.
I feel like going back to sleep. HEHE.
Kay. Nothing else to say~
When I'm with you, time slows down to a stop, and all I can hear is your heartbeat :)
Kay. Not a goodbye. I feel like typing it a little longer. Just a little bit.
AHHHHHHHHHHH nothing else to say so yeah bye.
hi i love unicorns. will you be my unicorn? HAHAHAHAHAHA big joke.
cos you're my everything :)
" Baby arhh, I miss you :) "
I JUST REALISED. I AM SO SORRY BASTARD. Hey, 2 more days to our 4th month :) you won't care anyway. Oh yes, here's my middle finger for you _|_ Love you.
Woke up. Chat w sayang :) Kay i have a sad life. Bye.
Hey you, yeah you, is there trillion-second? If yeah, I think of you that much^^
Friday, May 20, 2011
Cause you should be my baby~
" I close my eyes and fall into a deep sleep. I realise, you appear in my dreams.. All the time "
Finally done with the week. Today went for MT Learning Journey, to Kampong Lorong Buangkok. Boring. I only liked the part when our teacher gave us vanilla biscuits. YUMM. Got back my MT marks, disappointed arh, I got A2. 5% away from A1.. Highest in class I think. Average that people score for Paper 2 was like 50+ HEHE I got 80. Whateverrrr.
Celebrated Ms Tee's birthday in advanced. Didn't get to eat the cake.
Went to cousin's house, otp with Sayang. She's damn epic, teach cousin, also need ask me what she said, and then how solve this question, I got it faster than her^^ HURHUR. She said when Ms Tee pouted, she looks like me~ This crazy Sayang of mine, that's why I love her :)
-To be honest, Baby, I think about you every second. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Hey, you mean the world to me :)
" Everytime I think about giving up, I'll remember my promise of holding on "
Schooled. Went to check papers. C5, C6, D7. Now waiting for Mother Tongue. Hoping for A1. Please la eh, if not I get more than 18 points, SIAO.
Cried like shit when I knew my maths marks, Sayang and others went to comfort me. Sayang keep rocking me back and forth telling me "Don't cry already laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarh" and "WHY YOU START CRYING AGAIN?!?!?!" HAHA. Nuclear bomb :P
Went to Tiong after school, to get Ms Tee's present and cake. I was damn hyper at first, but I have no idea why, suddenly start my craps, become moody. I feel bad when I hit my hand purposely against the railings, Sayang gave me that one strange look, I can see it in her eyes, she's angry/annoyed/pissed :( Kay damn sad.
Went back to school for MT Enrichment. Waste time nia. Phone spoilt, go home, eat.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
" You'll lose that someone, if you don't put your heart and soul loving him/her "
That's why ;)
Okay. Schooled, then had interhouse games. Bronte was leading, then suddenly became the last.. Gosh lol. I rock at the pull down your pants game la. Keep pulling and pulling ^^ That minah collected like so damn many already, I creep from the back, snatch all WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~ I was like holding a bunch and my pants can't fit them anymore boohoo.
Haha that minah damn epic today. I smacked her face with the long leaf. She said thanks and I said welcome. She asked who snatched all the sashes during the game, I shouted MEEEEEEEEEE! She wanted to give me a punch in the face but teacher arrived. HAHA.
After that was the MT enrichment thingy. Then the poem. Sat with sayang^^ I kept staring at her, playing with the lime green plaster. This pabobaby, self entertainment. The blood damn scary leh >< I hate the sight of blood. Lolol keep nagging at her not to play with the plaster. HAHA. I damn zai eh at nagging. Riiiiiight? MUAHAHAHAHA.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
you're one in a million, baby yes you are.
" Hey, you there? I need you now. "
Vesak day today, no school. Damn boring. Slept at 12 yesterday, woke up at 12.20nn lol. Sayang went to grandmother's placeeeee. While my grandma came to my house. Stayed in my room lolol. Kay ah, nothing to say. Keep liking people's statuses on Facebook, and keep tweeting~
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, i'm a happy girl. Love you :3 HEHHEEH.
Monday, May 16, 2011
PARTY LIKE, LIKE IT'S 2012.
" Right here, right now "
School today. Point form okayyy.
Made rockets, paired up with Sayang~
Kinda no mood, so didn't talk to sayang, scared I accidentally say something bad.
Sayang thought I ignore her T.T
After school dismiss at 1, went for lunch. Sam, Phoebe, Cherylene, Jessica, Khairun Nisa, Frances they all go play Kinect. At first sat beside Sayang, watch them play, I got damn tired so went to sleeeeeeeeeeep. Woah, 15 minutes also can fall into deep sleep sia. Sayang behind me, keep shhhhhhhh-ing people :')
Went for the malay drama workshop. I was like going- half asleep.. eyes closing.. -EYESCLOSED- friend wake me up.. *repeat process* during the workshop. Texted sayang, never reply until the end of the workshop *~*
Went home at 6, damn tired. Planned to sleep for like one hour, wake up at 7, but in the end woke up at 9 -.- Sayang still online, so yeah (: She thought something happened to me .. Now chatting with her~
Sunday, May 15, 2011
it's the moment that counts.
Sayangg, don't mehrong, you'll never know who is falling in love with your smile :)Saturday - no school.
Sayang's toe pain ): tmr FITT run. sue sue sue sue -'-
Woke up at 8:37am. Went online at 9.30am. Scroll scroll scroll. Wait for Sayang. Now chatting with her.. Today damn boring/bored sia. My week is gone, like that.
Monday - school.
Tuesday - no school.
Wednesday - school. slack. Get my another $105.
Thursday - school. slack. Check exam paper.
Friday - school. slack. <- SHIT I TYPED SLASH ZZZ.
Sunday - no school.
Monday - School. Training.
Tuesday - School. FITT run. Training.
Wednesday - school. Go get scrapbooking stuff and etc~
Thurday - School. Training.
Friday - School. Go hougang buy stuff. Try meet with Rusyaidi.
MY LIFE DAMN SAD LEH. -.-
And i'm jealous. Good luck to me. Muahaha baby's CCA starting tmr.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
go go awayyyy ay ay ay ayy.
Cesser de mentir, ça fait mal
Today, nothing much. I feel like killing myself lol so unproductive. I swear.
Woke up, chat with babyyyy~ And yeah I think that's all I did today. Besides chatting with Rusyaidi. Bleh. Imma go jogging tomorrow.
Daddyyy, get well soon (:
Friday, May 13, 2011
Hey, I can't live without you :)
Going crazy :')
Haha kay listening to Se7en - I'm going crazy nowww. Getting emotional ._.
13th May 2011
I went swimming~ Kay I did a lot of progress :)
First swimming session - I couldn't swim properly, can't even complete half a lap.
Second swimming session - Can swim properly, complete at least one lap.
Third swimming session - Swim properly, completed 10 laps.
When I swam, I thought of 6C & Sayanggg, hehe to distract me away from the pain/nauseousness. I will forever remember the asshole who kicked and smacked my head when I was swimming. Asshole sia -'- Kay, next time when I swim, I'm going to the competition pool. Cannot tahan the minahs and mats at the 1.40m pool. Zzz.
Sayang went out with Brenda, Cherylene, Phoebe, Louisa and Clara. Haha damn funny eh how she describe how irritating #2 was. That kind of bitches~ Trying to steal my sayang? Try harder ;)
At night, chatted with Sayang ~ Muahahaha, this babyyy~ Love her :)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Gave Sayang the present.
Went to Mac to slack.
EH BLOODY FUCKER,
You don't act dua okay. Whatever you say and do, I got people to tell me all those crap. JIAYOU IN MAKING ME STOP SAYING BAISER. KUTANG NI AMOR -'-
Brenda Ho uh,
can stop hugging me? I think Sayang's pissed :x Go hug someone else.
Labels: She's the sweetest drug♥
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
now they're gone and you wished you could give them everything.
"Hey, need you now"
Dear angels, hear me. Don't make her sick, okay? She's having her Maths paper tomorrow, I want her to have a clear mind, and not bothered with anything else. I want the cheerful her back, not the sniff-every-ten-seconds her. I feel sad when she's sick. It must've been cause of me. Dear angels, fulfill my wish.
Haha I'm sick too. Went to school with a temperature of 38.2, stupid iOK say it's normal wtf. It was Sayang and my first month, hm, both of us sick.. Cheeky uh, put present in my baaaaaag. I didn't have time >:( I feel damn disappointed. Gonna give one day later than the actually day which is today and I don't farking know what the shit I'm talking about.
Had Comm Arts paper today, damn epic, Sayang wrote her Primary School register number, which was mine now (Y) Damn awkward also, people gave me and her the "wtfuck?!" face. Run here run there, collect class tee, I FELL AND THE PEOPLE THERE LAUGHED AT ME _|_
Sayang had her HCL Paper 2, I waited for her :) Sat in the canteen, only like 6 people were there? I keep spamming buy food, first was swiss roll, then toast, then cupcake, then the glutinous rice thingy, then bought H2O. Then Chrysanthemum tea. HEAVEN. 2.5 hours in the canteen, damn shiok, the canteen was super cold. But still noisy even though there's only like 6 people -.- Tried studying maths, but failed. Sayang finished her paper, and off we go homeeee.
Sayangg, Happy first month, get well soon♥
I love my life the way it is now.
" Hey, I miss you "
You mean the world to me :(
I feel like giving myself an overdose, and cry myself to sleep. I can't stand all this pain.. Sometimes I just feel like giving up anything and everything.
Hey, I shan't be sad now. Sayang and my first month tomorrow :')
Well nothing creepy about this, but the circle is my exact location, in my room, chatting with Sayang, and blogging.
Maybe I should go find Rusyaidi and my biological mum in the Map, eh? Haahaha. I don't even know where my mum lives. Good for meeee.
EVERYBODY JUST HAVE A GOOD TIMEEE.
" naahh, I don't think I'm a good liar :) "
Hey you ;) Yes you, yeaaaaah, youu! Do you know how awesome you are ;)
Okay if you're not my sayang you can fuck off thank you ^^
Don't no mood already okay? Truthfully, I feel damn sad when you're angry blahblahblah, I feel very unaccomplished to make you continuously smiling. D'you realise, when you no mood, I don't dare to be hyper? That's cause, I promised myself on 10th April, whatever you're going through, I will dare myself to face it with you. Okay this sounds cheesy. But whatever :)
Hey, our first month is in 25 hours 38 minutes (: Don't be sad anymore, kay? Like Sam said, if you're sad, she, the Bala Family is sad too~
I have officially run out of words.
So yeah, no more slashing, punching, biting lips, balalalalala. Sorry to keep you waiting, just wanna make this post a meaningful one :)
flashback, 2 years ago :)
" balalala "
HAHA. I suddenly remembered that guy I met at Tamp JC :) Raziqin, lolol. He damn cute! After the camp, he dragged me to the track, then 100m race~ Muahahaha I won :) Lalala miss him.
OKAY BACK TO REALITY.
Nothing to talk about, muahahaha .. And I'm deadshit, I have no silver metallic pen :( LALALLAALALALLALALALAALALA.
3 DAYS NEVER SEE SAYANG, ARGHHHH CAN CRY LE T.T
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Old picture, but I miss all of them.
I still remember them, Gina, Victoria, Sheryl and me. Sadly I only talk to Victoria now :/ Gina might think I'm a bitch, Sheryl would just be i-dont-give-a-shit type of person... I still remember the time I met them, and the day we seperated, just like that..
I'm so sorry :( My wish of getting them back, can never be fulfilled...
Let me play with you. BOUNCE!
" I feel weird today :3 "
Muahahaha woke up to a temperature of 38.9 -.- Fever roseeeee.
Wake up, damn hot :( Then my Elmo still beside me. Awwwww~
Rush to the toilet, bathe like shit. Stand under the cold water like for 5 minutes..
Take temperature, 38.5.
Current condition, chesty coughs, flu, fever & split headaches. So my guess about being sick soon is correct. And seems like dad doesn't even give a shit. MY MYE LEH. Zzz-.-
Gonna go for breakfast nowwwwwww n_n
Once upon a time :)
The picture above, completely reminds me of Comm Arts lesson, me & sayang complaining about how cold it was.
And now it's just fricking hot -'- And I'm sick. Zzz.
3 more days, to our first month :) Finished the gift alreadyy!! Disappointed I didn't get the giant giant Elmo :( AND SOMEONE BOUGHT THE BIGBIG COOKIE MONSTERRRR >:( The shop was closed yesterday so yeah I'm sosososo sorry :( Hmmm~
Working on the second month's gift already woots~ Excited shiat muahahaha!~
3 days to first month♥
11 days to payday
16 days to 4th month with Bastard.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
" You're just jealous "
Haha hey peeps. Had my HMT Paper 1, I think it went quite well. Can score around, 82/90? HEHEHEHE. I really really reaaaaally felt scared for the first time, during Comm Arts. Sayang keep changing places lol ^^
Recess, damn crowded, so yeah didn't eat even though my stomach was literally digesting itself -.- Went for PE, sayang sabo me... After PE I got dismissed then like 2 hours on my own revising heh. I'm sucha good good girl.
After paper, haha I got damn lazy so carried my bag at my tummy. In front of me got this CHIJ girls holding hands o-o Awkwarddd. So yeah, walk walk walk then turn then I got scared la lololol. Sayang behind the pillar :) Talked to her, wanted to send her home, but she with Cherylene so nah... Anyway dad doesn't know the way to CCK hahahaha.
Gonna revise HMT noww, okayy bye :)
-I just wanna hold you again, just once more..
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
" I swear I don't want you anymore"
Seeing you talking to that girl, just kills me inside.
HXL, I'm going to find you.
2 free periods today, oh no damn depressed. Sayang didn't talk to me and.. mom suddenly appeared in my mind. Idk why, cried, yeah cried. Worse than the time I cried during Geog -.- Zz stupid me, yeah?
Went for additional Maths lesson in the Faraday lab, haha boring shit. Sayang took away my pocketknife.... She said she's tempted T.T Aiyohhhh~
Left school, sayang went for lunch and blahblahblah got into the train and suddenly damn sleepy so I slept.
Ohmypapa I saw my reflection in the mirror, damn bigsized x.x DOES 1KG REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!! die.
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. A LITTLE NOTE.
I teared when I read this:
My eye tears up,
I start to cry, As my father whispers,
his final goodbye.
My mom is holding me back, stroking my head,
as my father lays, on his deathbed.
I'm bawling by now, and everyone knows,
My love for my dad, clearly shows.
Illness is bad.
Death is worse.
It will happen to all of us.
It's a never ending curse.
My dad closes his eyes, and falls into heaven,
before I can count, up to eleven.
He is gone now, And I miss him so.
Why, oh why, did he have to go? ❤
Sunday, May 1, 2011
wish upon a star.
tmd. no mood. wtfuck, thanks to my ignorance, i never knew how poor my family is.
dad's thinking of moving back to singapore. but if we move back, it'll be
1. Letting go of the terrace house.
2. Losing the Car.
3. Losing the motorbike.
4, Losing the freedom.
5. Staying in a 2-room flat with 7 family members.
6. Not having my own room I swear I'll kill myself.
going swimming tomorrow. maybe i should just drown myself, yeah? haha. thanks to the ruler for not being sharp enough. fuck this shit :(
P/s, I'm really sorry.
BABY PLEASE DON'T GO :)
HAHA YOU BASTARD.
-ENTER DILEMMA MOMENT-
What should I do with the $105
1. Wait for 18 days and get another $105
2. Buy new clothes.
3. Get a new bag.
4. Go shopping w mum like a mad woman.
5. Buy test papers. LIKE HELL NO?!
6. Use it to go swimming, bowling, chalet blahblahblah.
7. Save up for July 15th, SHINee's coming to Singapore.
8. Spam presents for Sayang :)
9. Wait long long and get iPhone.
10. Throw it in the bin.